Friday, August 2, 2013

Claude Gets it Wrong

      Claude waddling around the kitchen with the baby monitor shoved down his pants   Getting drunk on ipecac   Weaving baskets from strips of newspaper, using them as fishbowls   Peeing his gi at the championship match   Shaving his legs with a dull blade, wincing   Sporting a horsehair wig and matching tail   Glaring in through the screen at the birds   Painting his face with the wrong kind of paint   Sticking the ashy end of the Marlboro in his mouth   Peeling strips of skin from his face and feeding them to his pet snake   Faking an orgasm while pleasuring himself   Cutting only the expired coupons   Taking a slingshot to job interviews   Trying to open a fire hydrant with his teeth   Catching his tongue in the spokes of his pennyfarthing   Wallpapering his house with twenty dollar bills   Muttering beneath his breath in Old English    Hurling epithets at preschoolers   Showering with his clothes on   Forcing the stars into new constellations   Staggering around in the dark, heading straight for the wall   Flashing his toothless smile at the head waiter   Using his mother-in-law's vase as a spittoon   Taking back all the nice things he said about the poet who lives next door   Arguing with the meter maid, stating his case with remarkable eloquence   Feeding off the insecurity of others, then vomiting it up and selling it back to them in Mason jars  Landing perfectly the first time he pole vaults   Hammering the pump, bathing in blood   Clutching his numb left arm, convincing himself it’s another false alarm   Staggering backwards through the snow so he can sweep away his tracks, leaving even more footprints behind him as he does 

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