The shark with the bridal veil caught between its teeth. The raptor with the bloodied cummerbund snagged on its talons. The rhino with a garter looped around its horn. The Bengal tiger pawing at a lone wingtip, licking out a single bloodied pump. The snake slithering up the leg of the tuxedo trousers. The bull stomping the bridal bouquet to fragrant pulp beneath its hooves. There are piranhas spawning in the punchbowl and scorpions nesting in the centerpieces. You can barely see the buffet table for all the hyenas, and the cake is being devoured by a pack of second cousins you haven’t seen since Uncle Davy’s funeral. In good times and in bad, the minister said. In sickness and in health, 'til wild beasts tear us from limb to limb and feast upon our entrails.